Isn’t this picture of vampire Santa intense? I stumbled across it online while I was trying to get into the Christmas spirit.

If this guy comes down your chimney, you better grab your wooden stake (aka “Mr. Pointy”).

This past weekend I went to Disneyland and rode the “Nightmare Before Christmas” version of the Haunted Mansion ride. Memories came flooding back of how truly spectacular the Tim Burton film is. “Nightmare” is the perfect blend of beautiful-ugly… scary-cute… holiday spirit-(and a different sort of holiday spirit). Plus Jack and Sally are just about the cutest movie couple ever. Their figurines adorn my desk. Unfortunately her arms fall off quite easily – I’m still unsure of whether this is a feature of the toy or if it’s a manufacturer’s defect.

Obviously “Nightmare” is my favorite holiday classic (depending on my mood, it occasionally comes second only to “Elf”). If there’s such a thing as a Christmas movie for vampires then this would definitely be it.

And to put you in the mood to watch it, here’s a snippet of the song number “What’s this?” (For those who don’t know the story, Jack is king of Halloween town but he’s become bored with putting on the holiday every year so he looks for something new. Cue Christmas town.)

How creepy does Jack sound at the end of this clip when he schemes to take over Christmas? Love it.

So this holiday season, trade merry for scary Christmas (at least for a little bit).

Happy Holidays!

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The story: Monami (aka. Vampire Girl) gives a boy, Mizushima, a Valentine’s Day chocolate filled with her own blood so that when he eats it he transforms into an immortal like her. (Lucky him.) There’s a love triangle twist to this story as this transformation makes Mizushima’s current overbearing girlfriend Keiko very upset since she wants him to herself. Keiko attacks Monami and in the process falls off a roof and dies… but not for long as she is brought back to life by her mad scientist father as Frankenstein girl. The rest of the film is the gory epic battle between Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl as they each try to claim Mizushima for their own.

Needless to say this Japanese gore fest of a film is off-the-wall. I’m sure the plot could play out without vampires or Frankenstein monsters involved since carnage and violence seem to be the main themes. But the vampire storyline adds a nice touch and since the title character shares the same moniker as me, I feel compelled to discuss it.

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is pure mayhem and bloodbath by director Yoshihiro Nishimura. There’s no social commentary aspect in this one. And if there’s supposed to be then I missed it somewhere in between watching a High School girl’s skin being torn from her skull and the 10+ minutes of blood spurting out of the neck slow-mo action. This film is a messy, uber-violent, entrails-filled chaos picture that will make you drop your jaw at the absurdity of it all and perhaps slightly avert your eyes at the excess blood and carnage.

This is an ultra-tame scene from the film.

I like bloody pics. I really do. Excessive Japanese-style bloodshed (think Tarantino’s “Kill Bill”) amuses me and gives me the giggles. Yet perhaps because I’m not quite into the Japanese sub-culture movement or maybe because this film is so deranged that I felt slightly queasy during some especially graphic moments. Nothing to do with vampire allusions I assure you, it’s really the brazen and maniacal violence that’s hard to stomach. And this film is definitely not for the casual observer. The offensiveness will be a turn-off and the low-budget “look” of the film (which looks like it was all shot on a standard camcorder) is sure to make people mistake it for cheap trash. The fight choreography is truly terrible.

In addition to the relationship triangle story, there are random character development narratives from the two separate groups in the school. One group of girls compete in wrist-cutting competitions and another group of girls practice a strange version of African-American culture where they paint themselves in black faces, wear discount Chaka Khan costumes and worship Obama. These narratives were so bizarre – I think this is where social commentary may have come into play. Like it was supposed to parody sub-cultures in Japan. Perhaps.

There’s absolutely no value or meaning in this film, and little relevance to vampire myth except for the most superficial aspects. However, for those who love excess carnage and insane narratives as only Japan can deliver – this film will be heaven. It’s beyond anything Hollywood will ever produce. Just don’t watch it on a full stomach.

I also suggest avoiding a full stomach while watching the trailer:

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